At three years old, Amy* (not her real name) is playful and curious. She dances to cheerful children’s songs, scribbles with colored pens, and loves playing ball around the house. Her laughter fills their home in the municipality of Pateros, where she lives with her grandparents.
Since birth, Amy has been in the care of her grandfather, Ramil, 55, and grandmother while her parents work night shifts at a local call center. “When I don’t have carpentry work, I’m with Amy the whole day,” Ramil said.
Ramil, a father of four and now a grandfather of two, noticed something was different when Amy turned two. “It’s like she has no response. Even when called or nudged, nothing,” he recalled when they tried calling Amy’s attention.
Drawing from his earlier training in early childhood care under Save the Children, Ramil recognized the early signs of a developmental delay. He encouraged the family to seek medical advice. He still remembers the tears of Amy’s parents upon learning about her condition. “You have to accept it and help your child get treatment,” he told them.
After several consultations, Amy was diagnosed with hearing disability. She now wears a hearing aid and is learning new ways to connect and communicate. It has been half a year since Amy first used her assistive device. “There’s improvement. She turns when you call her name.
When she’s hungry, she takes your hand and leads you to the kitchen,” says Ramil. “She doesn’t speak yet, but she hums.”
Ramil’s attentiveness to Amy is shaped by years of personal experience. He has cared for a child with epilepsy, another born with a cleft palate, and his wife, who is a polio survivor. These experiences helped him notice the signs early and respond with empathy and care.
Parenting hasn’t always been easy for Ramil, but he says he has grown over time. “I used to be stricter,” he said. “Now, even when I don’t have money, I still find a way to provide for Amy. Being a grandfather is different. You have more time, and you become more patient.”
Ramil also joined Tatays in Action (Fathers in Action), a component of Project ABLE, which works to strengthen inclusive and responsive early childhood care and development systems. Through Tatay in Action, fathers and male caregivers are supported to take a more active role in early childhood care and development.
Beyond engaging men in caregiving, the initiative also promotes shared parenting, opening space for women to rest and pursue their goals, and supporting a more balanced decision-making within families.
He attended parenting sessions specifically designed for fathers—an experience he found meaningful. It gave him and other participants the rare chance to share their experiences as fathers, something they don’t often do because they’re usually focused on earning a living. Ramil shared with his co-participants where to have their children assessed for delays, and how to get medical assistance.
“This was the first training truly designed for fathers. If there’s another one, I’ll join again. It would be a missed opportunity if I didn’t,” he said. In the all-male caregiver session, fathers like Ramil said they feel comfortable and supported in sharing their experiences with one another. In other trainings, they shared they were passive. Here, they can speak, reflect, and connect with fellow fathers.
Among the lessons that resonated most with him was the importance of self-care: “You can’t take care of a child if you’re not okay yourself.”
Aside from being a hands-on grandfather, Ramil is also an active leader in his community, serving as vice president of a community-based group of persons with disabilities. He hopes that by sharing his experience, other families will be encouraged to act early and seek support.
“Accept your child’s condition. Don’t hide it, seek help and get them the support they need,” Ramil advised fellow parents of children with disabilities. “It’s not easy, but you’re not alone. There are people who can help.”
Each day, Amy continues to grow in confidence. She is now expressing herself through hums, gestures, and joyful movements. With her grandfather by her side, she’s learning to hear, connect, and thrive